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B-List Archive

June 2000

Postings to the B-List.

Subject: Weird Stuff You Can Do at Home ...
Date: Thu, 1 Jun 2000 09:51:09 +0930 (CST)

Make your own fog, ufo and anti-cockroach device:

  < >

Subject: Diversions
Date: Fri, 2 Jun 2000 09:54:36 +0930 (CST)

1. Do you have a secret?  Wanna find out secrets?
  < >

2. Dumb stuff:
  < >
  * How To Drive Like a Moron
  * Dumb Crooks: True Stories of Mentally-Challenged Criminals
  * PumpkinCam
  * More Creative Ways to Say Someone is Stupid
  * The Dumb Laws Page
  * The Stupid-Criminals Hall of Shame
  * Cows With Guns

3. A fun site aimed at kids, about science and stuff:
  < >

4. This is a real site.  And it isn't that interesting.
  < >

5. WARNING: the following URL will lockup your browser, so I've deliberately
put spaces in it.
  < http: // www .vomit .com >  Don't do it!

Date: Mon, 5 Jun 2000 18:05:04 +0930 (CST)

  < >

They have a live web cam too.

Subject: Web sites
Date: Wed, 7 Jun 2000 10:17:59 +0930 (CST)

The Archive of Misheard Lyrics
  < >

Sushi Fortune Telling (requires Flash)
  < >

Subject: Today's selection
Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 09:51:11 +0930 (CST)

1. An online store with a difference.
   < >
Warning: some items are gross.

2. A record label.  You can also get a email address.
   < >

3. For those who are addicted to bingo.
   < >

4. For those who have suffered from brushing their teeth.
   < >

5. A couple of links re my favourite travel writer, Bill Bryson.
   < >
   < >
No one has done a Bryson-specific site yet.  Hmmm...

Subject: Salary Theorem or the Management Equation
Date: Fri, 9 Jun 2000 10:18:22 +0930 (CST)

[ An oldie but a goodie, B!? ]

  < >

A mathematical proof which explains why managers and others in
authority make so much money.

 From your high school physics, you will recall that:

           Power  =  -------

 From the world of business, we know that:

             Knowledge =  Power

 and also that:

             Time  = Money

 Substituting these identities into the original equation, we get:

       Knowledge =   --------

 Solving for money, we get:

          Money =   ------------

 Thus, Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches zero,
 regardless of the Work done.

 What this means is:  The Less you Know, the More you Make.

 Taking this analysis and proof one step further, we know that:

      Knowledge =  Education x Time

 Solving for Time:

            Time   =   ------------

 and then substituting for Time back into the Power equation, we get:

                        Work           Work x Education
           Power   =  -------    =   --------------------
                        Time              Knowledge

 From which we can see that the closer Knowledge gets to 0, the more
 power one will have.

 Note:  You can also increase Power through increasing either Work or
 Education, but it should be noted that this approach doesn't have the
 same type of leverage as lack of knowledge.

 This equation is also known as the MANAGEMENT Equation, since it
 provides a clear and concise mathematical explanation of why
 managers, executives, politicians, defence personnel and most other
 highly unknowledgeable individuals get paid so much.

Subject: Friday Funnies
Date: Fri, 9 Jun 2000 10:53:46 +0930 (CST)

1. Alien Abductions Incorporated
  < >
A unique service offering.

2. For the soup-lovers out there (you know who you are :)
  < >
  < >
The second one has hundreds of recipes.  Plus: Soup in the News, Soup in the

3. Jive Translator
  < >
Type in or cut'n'paste some text, then translate it into Jive.

  Dear valued customer,

  On behalf of the Corporation, I'd like to personally thank
  you for purchasing our new product.

  Please read the instructions carefully before using your
  new pencil.  We also sell pencil sharpeners and erasers
  to enhance your pencil-using experience.

  If you have any problems with the product, please
  contact our customer support line using the email
  address below, or send a letter to the Head Office.

  Tony Soprano.

Translates to:
  Dear valued customa', 

  On behalf uh de Corporashun, Ah'd likes t' sucka'ally dank 
  you's fo' purcgots'tain' our new product. 

  Please eyeball de instrucshuns carefully before usin' ya' 
  new pencil. We also's sell pencil sharpeners and erasers 
  t' enhance ya' pencil-usin' espuh'ience. What it is, Mama! 

  If you's gots' any problems wid de product, please 
  contact our customa' support line usin' de email 
  address below, o' t'row some letta' t' de Haid Office. What it is, Mama! 

  Tony Soprano.

Subject: Virtual Manager +
Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2000 09:46:53 +0930 (CST)

1. Lonster's Virtual Manager
  < >
For when you just can't get enough of manager-speak.

2. Stuff to jazz up your website
  < >
Buttons, banners, web clubs, tips'n'tricks...

  < >
Not what you'd expect to find.

Subject: Pig-latin translation service
Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 09:40:54 +0930 (CST)

You probably know about the standard web page translation services
(eg Babelfish < > which does the
standard French, German, Italian, Spanish, as well as Portuguese
and Russian).

Well, here's one which translates webpages into Pig latin:
  < >

Subject: B-List: Names -> personality?
Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 10:11:57 +0930 (CST)

Does the name you are given influence you?  These guys think so:
  < >

Scroll down to the end of the page then enter a first name.  See how that
name affects behaviour.

See what they say about my name:
  < >
Hmmm. Spooky.

Subject: B-List: Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 14:46:58 +0930 (CST)

A "research project":
  < >

Check out the submitted resignation letters.

And take the "Kiss Off" quiz.  I did, with this result:
  Don't quit your job. Your situation may not be perfect, but it will
  do as well as any other until you figure out what it really is that
  you want.

Subject: B-List: Are you a freak? / Buzzword generator
Date: Fri, 16 Jun 2000 10:24:32 +0930 (CST)

1. Take the freak test to find out just how unique you really are:
   < >

My results:
                                    Raw      Percent
               Need to be unique:  62.50       0.52
             Need to NOT conform:  81.82       0.91
  Willingness to express dissent:  65.00       0.59
                         Overall:  70.31       0.76

2. Buzzword Generator
   < >

Subject: B-List: Gadgets galore
Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2000 10:26:23 +0930 (CST)

All sorts of weird and wonderful products:
  < >

For those who like singing in the shower:
  < >

If you can try out the "3D Enhanced area" - needs 3D Dream and Shockwave
plug-ins.  Unfortunately the Mac version of 3D Dream is still in development :(
Let me know if it's worth it.

Subject: B-List: Nounours Cam
Date: Mon, 19 Jun 2000 14:11:53 +0930 (CST)

Follow the adventures of Nounours the teddy bear:
  < >
A new adventure every day!

If you prefer French:
  < >

Subject: B-List: TackyMail
Date: Tue, 20 Jun 2000 09:31:51 +0930 (CST)

Send someone a "tacky" postcard via email:
  < >

Check out the ones in the classics and current favourites section:
* Y2K bug captured
  < >
* Blow that chunky music, whiteboy
  < >
* Death of disco
  < >
* Easter in Chernobyl
  < >

And how's this for a beer-drinker's idea of paradise
  < >

Subject: B-List: Lucky Dog
Date: Tue, 20 Jun 2000 14:24:55 +0930 (CST)

   "Lucky Dog"

   October, 1993--Europa Times

   ``We will not have him put down. Lucky is basically a damn good guide
   dog,'' Ernst Gerber, a dog trainer from Wuppertal told reporters. ``He
   just needs a little brush-up on some elementary skills, that's all.''

   Gerber admitted to the press conference that Lucky, a German shepherd
   guide-dog for the blind, had so far been responsible for the deaths of
   all four of his previous owners. ``I admit it's not an impressive
   record on paper. He led his first owner in front of a bus, and the
   second off the end of a pier. He actually pushed his third owner off a
   railway platform just as the Cologne to Frankfurt express was
   approaching and he walked his fourth owner into heavy traffic, before
   abandoning him and running away to safety. But, apart from epileptic
   fits, he has a lovely temperament. And guide dogs are difficult to
   train these days.''

   Asked if Lucky's fifth owner would be told about his previous record,
   Gerber replied: ``No. It would make them nervous, and would make Lucky
   nervous. And when Lucky gets nervous he's liable to do something

Subject: B-List: Anarchy In Action
Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2000 09:52:53 +0930 (CST)

   Anarchy In Action
   July 24, 1993--AP

   Las Vegas, Nevada--The police say a man robbed a bank here and then
   casually doled out $100 bills to stunned bystanders, cheerfully urging
   them to ``have a nice day.''

   Officers arrested Ronald M. Chroniak, 46, on Friday shortly after the
   robbery of a Bank of America branch, the authorities said. When they
   found him, he was handing out money, they say.

   It all started when a man walked into the bank around noon and handed
   a teller a note demanding money. After receiving an undisclosed
   amount, he strolled out and, the police say, began sharing the booty.

   Alexander McNair said he was eating lunch in the bank courtyard when a
   man walked up and handed him a $100 bill.

   ``Where'd you get the money, man?'' Mr. McNair asked as he stared at
   the slightly crumpled bill. Mr. McNair said the man told him: ``I just
   robbed the bank. Have a nice day.''

Subject: B-List: The Anagram Genius Server
Date: Wed, 21 Jun 2000 13:48:39 +0930 (CST)

The Anagram Genius Server
  < >

A free anagram generator.  Just type in a name and they email you some
From the web page:
   Did you know that rearranging the letters of "Clint Eastwood" gives
   "Old West action", "Madonna Louise Ciccone" gives "Occasional nude
   income" and "William Shakespeare", "I am a weakish speller"??!

Subject: B-List: A Sticky Crime
Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2000 10:56:43 +0930 (CST)

   A Sticky Crime

   Private Eye--February, 1994
   O Globo

   ``I've made some weird arrests in my time, but this even beats the
   woman shoplifting with a rabid donkey for protection last month,''
   Sergeant Paulo Quadros of the Belo Horizonte police force told

   ``This time, it took twelve of us, including eight firemen, and we had
   to take a dozen floor boards into custody as well.''

   Sergeant Quadros was answering questions about the arrest of Sergio De
   Sa, on charges of aggravated theft. ``De Sa is a glue sniffer, who
   steals from shops to feed his habit. On Saturday night he broke into
   the Gola Gola glue factory, but he lost control when saw the really
   good stuff and started inhaling directly from the vats. Of cause, he
   was overcome by fumes after one sniff and lost his balance, upsetting
   a vat of glue as he fell. By the time he came round, he was stuck to
   the floor and had to lie there helplessly until the workers turned up
   on Monday morning. They couldn't shift him and in the end, we had to
   get a powersaw and cut round him. The factory owner lost a days
   production and he lost the skin off his back.''

   ``While we were charging him, he said it was worth it as Gola Gola
   Quickstix was the premier cru [sic] of glue. What is with these
   people? Are they nuts? Last month we arrested another guy with tubes
   stuck right up both nostrils. He died in custody. Someone called him
   Walrus face and he laughed so much he hemorrhaged.''

Subject: B-List: Abuse-a-tron
Date: Thu, 22 Jun 2000 14:57:42 +0930 (CST)

Abuse-a-tron: For the times when you feel the urge to be put down:
   < >

Be prepared for a BlackAdder-style verbal lashing.  But no swear words
as far as I can tell.

Subject: B-List: SiSSYFiGHT 2000
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 09:31:32 +0930 (CST)

What schoolgirls are really like:
  < >

Explanation from the webpage:
  SiSSYFiGHT 2000 is, like, an intense war between a bunch of girls
  who are all out to ruin each other's popularity and self-esteem. The
  object is to physically attack and majorly dis your enemies until they are
  totally mortified beyond belief. You'll never come out on top without
  making the right friends, so be careful who you're nice to. Because in
  the end, only the shrewdest will survive with their social status intact!

Subject: B-List: Crazy election result
Date: Mon, 26 Jun 2000 11:04:14 +0930 (CST)

   Not Even A Dead Heat

   from Unusual Election Archives: The Library of Congress

   The Oklahoma Supreme Court in December 1990 upheld the landslide
   victory by incumbent Frank Ogden III (91 percent) over Josh Evans.
   Evans had run on a campaign of being an ``able lawyer and a living
   person,'' which he thought gave him an advantage over Ogden, who had
   died three months before the election.

Subject: B-List: the karma farm
Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 09:26:25 +0930 (CST)

the karma farm
  < >

* For guys, Mark's Apology Note Generator
  < >
* For gals, Mark's Bitch Letter Generator
  < >
* What's in Mark's wallet?
  < >

* Mark's thoughts on pool/billiards, money, marriage ...

Subject: B-List: Perth webcams
Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 11:58:36 +0930 (CST)

Perth webcams:
  < >

Check out Perth - select webcams from the maps.

Or for more panaramic views:
  < >

Subject: B-List: Boss humour
Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 09:10:33 +0930 (CST)

Take some cheap shots at your boss:
  < >

Please don't read anything into this :)

Subject:  Morning tea suggestions
Date:  Wed, 28 Jun 2000 09:26:34 +0930 (CST)

For coffee and tea-lovers, try Virtual Caffeine:
  < >

or if you prefer, have some Virtual Milkshake
  < >

Don't worry, it's just some simple, yet clever JavaScript.

Subject: B-List: Animated greeting cards
Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 15:06:57 +0930 (CST)

  < >

Subject: B-List: Hampsterdance Revisited
Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 15:28:28 +0930 (CST)

For those who haven't experienced enough of the wonders of Hampsterdance:
  < >

If you've seen this before, tough!

Subject: B-List: Sanity Test
Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2000 08:56:05 +0930 (CST)

How (in)sane are you?
  < >

My result:
  You are 34.5454545454545% insane.
  You are a little insane.

Subject: B-List:
Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2000 10:35:57 +0930 (CST)

Home of those 3D stereograms thingies:
  < >

I never could "see" the pictures.  Still can't :(

And, further to yesterday's boss thing:
  < >
  < >
Use at your risk!

Subject: B-List: Corporate Tactics For Dummies
Date: Fri, 30 Jun 2000 09:11:21 +0930 (CST)

Octapod: Corporate Tactics For Dummies
  < >
In case you hadn't seen it before.

Their main site may be of some interest too:
  < >


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